The Vacation Effect: Weight Loss and Dating

So, I just got back from vacation. Well, technically I’ve been back since Sunday night, but who’s really keeping track? #me

It’s actually felt like forever that I’ve been back at work. And forever since Coach has been gone. Oh yeah, did I mention that he left for a two week  vacation on Saturday. He won’t be back until the 23rd… and the last time I saw him was on the 5th. So he’s never coming back. I know I’m being dramatic, but it’s a weird feeling… when the person you’re dating, who isn’t your boyfriend goes away for a long(ish) period of time. How does this work?! Am I supposed to not miss him just because we’re only in a situationship?! Cuzzzz I kind of, sort of, miss him. A little bit. It’s gross. Ugh!

Speaking of gross: I felt pretty gross coming back from vacation. Like physically. I mean… I guess that’s to be expected when I basically had an IV of Corona Lite and frosé and found myself snacking on Cool Ranch Doritos. For one, I’m a Nacho Cheese girl allll the way. For two, wtf Jenn! I stepped on the scale Monday morning and it said 222.4. I was shocked. I had just been at 209! I stepped on it twice more and got 218.4 and 220.4. I wasn’t happy. Yesterday it said 217.4, so that’s progress, I guess. But, this… this weight gain, this bloat, this icky feeling… this is “the vacation effect”. Eating whatever. Drinking all the things. Maybe I was being carefree, maybe careless… but either way, I’m over it. I’m back and doing my best to get back on track.

Weight gain aside, my vacation was really nice! I’m tan! I’ve almost finished two books, and it was nice to have Coach there for part of it.

He came up to Maine with me for a few days as a mini vacation before leaving for his big, super long vacation. He saw my parents (he’d met them a few weeks ago) and he met basically every other person in my family – my cousin, her kids… my other cousin, her husband and her baby… and my other cousin (who was way too excited to meet him), and her husband and her son. Oh, and he met like, four of my Mom’s friends from work, their husbands, and one man’s “friend”. Which brings me to exactly how my Mom referred to Coach in the toast she gave at dinner one night…

Coach is my “friend”.

My “friend” whose presence granted me the master bedroom for the duration of my vacation (a privilege I’d never had before).

My “friend” who held my hand as we walked on the beach the first night we arrived.

My “friend” who told me I looked really pretty even though I was super greasy covered in sunscreen.

My “friend” who found every excuse to grab my ass when he thought no one was looking.

On Saturday, a few days after he’d left Maine, and the day he left for his own vacation, I went to a cocktail party hosted by one of my neighbors. And at the party, I found out that I had a boyfriend. Or at least, that’s what people were saying. Apparently my “friend” and I were also at the center of all the hot gossip between my 75 year old neighbors.

I’m not sure what I was expecting, really. I’ve gotten away with just introducing him to people by saying, “this is Coach” (of course, I use his real name). And no one asks any questions.

My cousin (the excitable one) and he husband were also really about the idea of Coach being my boyfriend. I mean, they’re right. We’re dating. He’s met my parents. He’s met my family. He stays over all the time. Most people think he’s my boyfriend.

Maybe I want him to be. Maybe this is another kind of “vacation effect”. The kind of thing that happens when the guy who’s not your boyfriend goes on vacation for two weeks and you’re not quite sure what to do with yourself (and not just because you’re not going to have sex for basically three weeks). Yes… that’s “the vacation effect”.


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