Body

Healthy Sesame Shrimp & Broccoli

So as much as I love going out to eat, I LOVE cooking. Basically I love food. I’m what Noom calls a “Fun Eater”. Anyways, I thought I’d start sharing food I make. I’m no good at following recipes, so I typically make up my own…

Last night, in the midst of what I will call “The Refrigerator Incident” (which has since turned into a full blown episode… long story involving hours on the phone with Sears), I knew that if I didn’t cook anything I would end up eating two sleeves of Saltine crackers and peanut butter… which isn’t exactly on any diet I’ve heard of. So while the contents of my refrigerator were sprawled across the kitchen floor in a brand new cooler and paper bags that we’d saved from grocery shopping, I made the courageous decision to make myself a healthy dinner.

I wasn’t sure how long we’d be without a fridge (spoiler: we won’t get a new one until Saturday), so I thought I should use whatever would go bad first – broccoli that was already a week old and frozen shrimp.

Now, of course shrimp and broccoli isn’t anything new. But as it reminded me of literally every high-sodium, high-fat asian dish I’ve ever wanted in my life, I needed noodles. Cue the spaghetti squash (also over a week old, but probably not going bad anytime soon – yes clearly I haven’t been cooking much lately). So instead of making those delicious pad thai noodles I keep hidden in the pantry for emergencies, I chose a low calorie, high volume option… #thanksnoomtraining

Add in some soy sauce, hoisin sauce, a little sriracha, sesame seeds, red pepper flakes and garnish with chopped scallions, and you have yourself a super delicious, kind of sinus clearing dinner for under 400 calories. I was actually kind of shocked at how much I enjoyed this! Will definitely be added to my regular list – especially when I’m craving pad thai… which is basically all the time. Maybe next time I’ll try chicken or pork.

Enjoy!

Ingredients –

  • 1 spaghetti squash (about 5 inches long)
  • 20 shrimp (I used cooked with tails, but up to you)
  • 2 heads of broccoli
  • 2 tbsp hoisin sauce
  • 1 tbsp soy sauce
  • Sriracha sauce (to taste)
  • 2 tbsp sesame seeds
  • Salt
  • Pepper
  • Red pepper flakes (to taste)
  • 1 scallion (chopped)
  • 2 tbsp olive oil

Makes 2 servings
~400 calories
30-40 minutes

Directions –

  1. Preheat oven to 400 degrees
  2. Wash and dry produce
  3. Cut spaghetti squash in half the long way, spoon out the seeds, place on baking sheet, flat side up, and drizzle with 1 tbsp olive oil. Bake for 25 minutes. Flip over and bake for another 5 to 10 minutes, or until squash is soft.
  4. While squash is cooking, chop broccoli into individual florets and place on a baking sheet (this only takes up about half of a baking sheet). Drizzle with 1 tbsp olive oil, season with salt and pepper to taste. Bake for 20 minutes
  5. Thaw frozen shrimp in warm/hot water. Remove tails
  6. In a small bowl, mix together soy sauce, hoisin sauce, and sriracha sauce. Add shrimp and stir to coat
  7. Remove baking sheet with broccoli from oven. Arrange shrimp in one layer on the empty half of the baking sheet. Drizzle with remaining sauce left in the bowl and top with red pepper flakes and sesame seeds. Bake for 10 to 15 minutes
  8. Remove both baking sheets from the oven. Use a fork to remove squash from the skin and place in a medium bowl. Add broccoli and shrimp to the squash. Stir to combine
  9. Transfer portions to small bowls or plates. Garnish with chopped scallions
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Body, Boys

Let’s Talk About Sex

Sex. Something everyone does but no one really talks about. At least not in the way we should. Especially women.

If talking about it makes you uncomfortable (or you don’t want to hear about my sex life), now is the time to check out. You know who you are. Emergency exits are located in the front and back of the plane… remember the closest one might be behind you.

Okay back to sex.

This weekend my mother and I talked about it for the first time. In detail. And not hypothetically.

I’m turning 28 this year and aside from the occasional immaculate conception comment poking at my lack of activity in my youth and more recently me being pretty open about being on birth control, the topic never really came up. By the time my mom was my age, she was married and had two kids! I didn’t ask, but I highly doubt she and my grandma had talked about sex. It’s just not something we do. Especially with our mothers!

That should change.

I’m not saying I want to hear all the details of my mother’s sex life or want her to know all the details of mine! But the truth is, as women we learn a lot about sex from men.

We don’t even learn about it in health class – at least not in a way that really benefits us. It’s all about how babies are made, and because male ejaculation is a key factor in reproduction, we learn about that… but what about all the other stuff? Female orgasms? Or what feels good for us? Or even the basics of getting to know our bodies a little bit more?

A few years ago my grandma (dad’s mom) took my sister and I on a weeklong cruise. When I got back to school after the vacation, there was a long message from her in my Facebook inbox. In it she said that she had meant to talk to me and my sister about sex while we were on vacation. It went on to say to remember to be safe. I was mortified!

But I shouldn’t have been. As women we should encourage our friends, sisters, daughters, and granddaughters not to be so hush hush about sex. Share our experiences and advice – the good, the bad, and the ugly. If we don’t, how else will we have the confidence and know how to take control of our own bodies and our own sex lives?!

During a long walk on the beach this weekend, I confessed to my mom that I didn’t feel very comfortable being “on top” during sex. And as it’s something that Coach has expressed interest in me doing more – taking control – I needed an outside perspective. I was hesitant and a little embarrassed, but almost immediately she says:

Your generation is at a serious disadvantage without headboards.

I couldn’t believe it! #happymothersday

We talked about it in detail. She gave me pointers and even told me she’d show me some hip flexor stretches that would help to prevent leg cramps and increase range of motion. Have I mentioned my mom is an OG? If anyone needs advice on anything, I guarantee she has the answer.

Here are the three best pieces of advice she gave me about being on top…

1. No Man Complains about Grinding

One of the reasons I’m not comfortable being on top is because of the desired motion. Going up and down is hard. It requires a lot of support. And tbh, it doesn’t do much for me. I would rather grind back and forth. I told her this and she kind of just laughed and told me to stop being so concerned with what he wants. She said…

If you’re on top and confident, no man is going to complain about grinding.

(Quick sidebar back to what I said earlier about women learning about sex from men… where do men learn about sex? And why are they somehow qualified to tell us what we should or shouldn’t be doing?)

2. Get Out of Your Head

For a lot of us, aside from the work that goes into being on top, we’re also self conscious about the way we look being on top. The desired up and down movement does not seem to result in a desirable visual. Who wants to see all the sagging and the jiggling? Not I, said the cat. Well guys don’t care. My mom rolled her eyes and said something about how if a guy is already having sex with you, that’s not going to change his mind.

More importantly, she said…

Get out of your head! The best sex is when you’re not thinking at all.

She might as well have said that she pities the fool who can’t get out of their own head. And I get what she’s saying! Personally, I don’t care what I look like during sex (I think I talked about this is Let’s Get Naked), but I do spend time thinking about what I’m doing or if I’m doing it right. Yesss I know there isn’t really a right and a wrong to sex, but I haven’t succeeded in getting out of my head yet!

3. Master the Maneuver

While all in all my mom agreed that being on top during sex is hard, she suggested that I do it for short periods of time every time and then simply change positions by maneuvering the guy on top. For some reason this idea was one I’d never thought of.

Maneuver him into other positions. Master the maneuvering method of changing from a undesirable position in a way that says “this isn’t working for me anymore” without saying “this isn’t working for me anymore”.

Since there’s no nice way to tell someone that they are over a position or it’s just not doing it for them, maneuvering avoids awkwardness and gets you into a position that is more desirable. Aka not being on top.

She said a lot of other stuff. Lots of advice. And she did end up showing me the hip stretches, which I’m going to have to do since I feel like I never stretch.

I’m grateful we could have the conversation and could be as open with each other as we were. She reminded me that I don’t have a lot of experience and I think that, along with how I feel about Coach and the way our situationship is going, made me want to become more comfortable. I mean, why not? I’ve become more confident with lots of things over the last three years, this can just be one of them.

My advice (or really my mom’s) on being on top ends there, but if you’re feeling the same way, know you’re not alone. And here are a few articles and blogs I’ve been perusing over the last few days that offer their own tips and tricks:

And finally I think the one I enjoyed reading the most:

Hi, Mom!

Body

At War with the Weekend

As the weather gets nicer and I’m spending more time outside, I’m also spending more time socializing. With alcohol. And food. And while I am basically a hermit during the week, weekends are completely different. I am currently at war with the weekend.

Since going away for my college reunion in April, I’ve spent my weekends drinking margaritas and eating delicious (and unhealthy) food with friends. While I haven’t actually gained much weight, I haven’t lost any either. I’ve been yo-yoing around that 50lb milestone that I’ve been dying to get past. Okay, maybe not dying… but you know what I mean.

I’m still doing Noom and like with any diet my motivation has had its ups and downs. My sister is also doing Noom. And our strong desire to drink on outdoor patios must be inherited (thanks Mother) because it seems we’re fighting the same battle.

Weekdays are three steps forward, and weekends are two steps back.

We’ve both talked to our Noom coaches and it seems that our portion control in the presence of peers (yes I did all those P words on Purpose) goes completely out the window! Exhibit A: Last weekend, thanks to my social setting and being severely intoxicated, four slices of pizza at 11:00 pm seemed like the best choice. Of course, that lead to next day rationalization of cake, a burger, chips, and a donut, followed by giving into fried chicken cravings. Obviously I felt like crap Sunday night and could only go to bed after chugging pepto bismol. I was not talking body that night.

I know that this is the reason my weight has yo-yoed. And I know it’s something I need to work on – especially if I want to reach my goal weight. And this is why I’m at war with the weekend.

So I’ve done some searching around the interwebs, and here’s what I learned…

1. It’s a Habit

The first article I found was How I quit weekend overeating by Krista Scott-Dixon of Precision Nutrition. It’s obviously a thought leadership piece for the company and ends a bit more self promotional that I had hoped, but she raises a few good points. Straight from the start she says:

In my world, weekend overeating (and over-boozing) was ‘just what people did.’

Something I can totally relate to. I’ve mentioned before how I never used to think about what I was consuming, especially in college where everyone was just eating and drinking whatever. While the winter may have put that behavior on pause, social situations bring about the exact mindless, go with the flow, “when in Rome” behavior that inspires me to make food and drink decisions that I might not have made alone or in a different environment.

Krista goes on to discuss five strategies that worked for her to break the habit. But my biggest take away was that this behavior is a habit. I’m used to having more than one or two drinks when I go out. I’m used to late night snacks when I get the munchies. But I just because I’m used to something doesn’t mean it’s good. Somehow my internal clock recognizes that it’s the weekend and time to break all the rules. Luckily habits can be broken! And habits that leave you feeling uncomfortable, bloated, and guilty should be broken.

2. It’s NOT Healthy

I was looking for another resource backed by research, and I found How Much Damage Can I Do At The Weekend After Being Healthy All Week? on MoveBlog (which I think is Move Great Britain, but couldn’t quite figure it out). Of course what first caught my eye was the universal truth of…

…it’s pretty hard to think about our goals when a G&T dangles before us!

Can I get an Amen?!

I’ve never quite understood how a dozen oysters could turn into an order of truffle fries and a trip to Tasty Burger after three gin and tonics…

So the author, Laura, explains that cheat days and weekend carbs can be beneficial to overall fat loss because it prevents your body’s leptin levels from falling too low. Leptin is a hormone that “regulates energy balance by inhibiting hunger” (Noom recently taught me about the different hormones that have an impact on hunger and cravings, etc.). BUT she explains that this benefit doesn’t exist when alcohol becomes involved because it has the opposite effect – making you hungry.

But almost more alarming, a “repeated cycle of eating healthily in the week and bingeing on junk food every weekend” can damage your gut health. And due to complexities around cells, your gut plays a role in metabolism. Between you and me, I’m in no place in my weight loss journey to risk screwing up my already slow metabolism! I better stock up on Kombucha stat!

3. Chances are… It’s Water Weight

Looking for some tips, I stumbled upon Weekends are Killing Your Diet, 5 Steps to Fix it in Ask Fitness Coach. While it’s probably not a site I’d seek out normally, in addition to some steps to end the war, the author presented some cold, hard facts. That I found more enlightening than the steps…

The body stores about 2-3 grams of water per gram of glycogen.

Nice! No wonder I’m 5lbs lighter by Tuesday!

Basically glycogen is carb storage. So the more carbs you eat, the more water the body stores. Yay water weight! Easy to lose. Except maybe I’m alone here, but despite what I tell myself about the hydrating properties of vodka sodas, the amount of water I drink on the weekends is nothing compared to the two or three giant water bottles I consume everyday during the week. So that crampy, chapped lips, swollen hands feeling is just my body storing water to deal with the four pieces of pizza I ate! Lovely. I’m bloated AND severely dehydrated #thanksalcohol #thankscarbs

So if you’re struggling with weekend weight loss, I’m right there with you. And so is my sister (she’s probably going to be mad at me for writing about her lol). I’ve decided this weekend (I’m writing this Saturday morning) I’ll be more mindful, and make food and drink decisions that help me progress. Pepto bismol is no longer an option.

Feel free to comment and share weekend war stories or offer some of your own insights or advice!

Boys

Can a Ghost be a Friendly Ghost When it Comes to Dating?

Confession: I have this irrational (?) fear that at some point Coach will ghost me. Even though another part of me thinks that after dating someone for five months (see Coach vs. Cat), the acceptable ghosting period has long passed. But hey, people have done worse!

For those of you living under a rock… or who are actual ghosts since if you don’t know what ghosting someone is, you must be dead… ghosting in the dating world is when you simply stop contacting the other person. We’re all guilty of being ghosts, and we’ve all been ghosted. While it sucks when it happens to you, being a ghost is basically second nature to most. It’s the easy way out, and typically even after a handful of dates, it’s not considered socially unacceptable. If I’ve been out with a guy over three times, I try my best not to ghost. Being straightforward is much more mature and appreciated.

So while for the most part things with Coach and I are going well, this week (following a slightly awkward conversation that made me realize we need to communicate better and both have to compromise sometimes) he’s been really distant. Not a good sign. But, again, after five months of dating, what’s my worry?

Well, it’s funny you ask! My worry is that this will end and that it will be sudden and he will just stop talking to me. AKA ghost me.

Let me explain: A while back, during our first DTR conversation, he said he didn’t want us to get too comfortable with each other. By this, he meant that he didn’t want us to be together just for the sake of not being alone. And in our second DTR conversation, we basically agreed that we’d only disclose another person one of us is dating if we’re ending things.

So the way I see it, our situationship will end in one of two ways.

  1. One of us decides we’re too comfortable and over being together
  2. One of will meet someone else and want to pursue that other person

And for some reason, I think if it’s #2, it’ll be me (see St. Patrick’s Day blog post). And if it’s #1, it’ll be him. And that he’ll just up and disappear.

Like I said, people have done worse.

So while I might be paranoid and irrational, but it got me thinking: Is there ever such thing as a friendly ghost? Especially after a longer period of time?

Quick answer is no. Obviously. None of us are Hilary Duff (or Christina Ricci depending on your movie preference)!

Despite how easy it makes our task of ending things with someone, it leaves that other person wondering what happened. Unfortunately we are all very self centered and insecure. So no matter how much they did or didn’t like you, somewhere deep down, they’re thinking “what did I do wrong?” or “was it me?” Even if on the outside they’re telling you to eff off.

And when you really get down to it, the real reason we think it’s okay to ghost a person is because we don’t see them as someone who deserves our time or energy. And maybe they’re not… but I’m going to guess that 90% of the time, we don’t know them enough to tell. And that says more about us than them. But being considerate is below us. So no big deal.

So, sure, ghosting someone is considered socially acceptable, but is there a point in dating when maybeee you should just bite the bullet and send the break up text?

If I can let the guy I went out with ONCE (who thought he was Kanye West) and accidentally sent a screenshot of his craziness back. to. him. that I just wasn’t feeling it, ANYONE can. (I promise I’ll tell that story soon, though I think he might know about this blog soooo). After one date we don’t really owe anyone anything. But what about three? Or ten? I mean, I’ve heard of people ghosting after months of casual dating. Obviously the key word here is casual… but still. #LETSBECONSIDERATE

Ghosting Rules I Now Live By:

  1. Don’t do it (unless it’s absolutely necessary)
  2. If ghosting is the only option – AKA you’ve already sent the break up text and the person just is not getting it – it’s fine
  3. Well, it’s fine if you’ve been out together 3 times or less
  4. Anything beyond 3 dates, the person deserves a quick “hey, it was great meeting you, but I don’t see this going anywhere, best of luck” text
  5. The only exception to this is a French Toast situation where he and I ended things by texting emojis… Yeah, once y’all are being passive aggressive assholes to each other via text, it’s not even worth it

I know people have different comfort levels around letting the other person they aren’t interested. It’s hard being straightforward. And chances are, you won’t get a response to the break up text. But that is okay! It’s like in Sweet Home Alabama – “She’s spoke her peace and that’s all there is to it”.

 

Also I need everyone to know that ghost was the word I got wrong in my third grade spelling bee

Boys

Coach vs. Cat

The other night, Coach mentioned that we’ve been seeing each other for five months. Knowing damn well how long we’ve been seeing each other, I said “Oh my god! Has it really been that long!” in a way that I think was pretty convincing. #ThatswhyIminoredindrama

He doesn’t know that I have a weird thing where I remember dates that to anyone else would seem unimportant. January 19, 2004 was the day I found out that the guy I liked in 8th grade had broken up with his “longtime” girlfriend. They had broken up on January 17th. His birthday is March 11th. The guy I liked in 6th grade’s birthday is March 19th. The guy in my calculus class senior year of high school who always sang “If I were a Boy” celebrates his birthday on March 9th. The guy I liked from ages 19 to 22 was born on March 21st. Coach and I first met on December 10th after I bailed on him for December 8th. His birthday is one day after mine on November 4th.

Shockingly, my freakish ability to remember dates is not the point of this post!

Coach and I have been seeing each other regularly for five months. Since January 12th. (If I didn’t remember, I could always look back at the blog!) It’s kind of crazy considering I was so adamant about not wanting a relationship. I mean, we’re just dating sooo I guess it’s not really a relationship. #situationship

Anyways, despite a few hiccups here and there, things are going well. But there’s one thing that is a kind of big deal… My cat, Bread, doesn’t particularly like him. (Pictures of Bread provided for your viewing pleasure, but you’re not allowed to side with him just because he’s cute and really fluffy.)

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See, Coach didn’t grow up with animals, and he’s a bit afraid that Bread will bite him. Or something. And while it is true that I don’t have established boundaries with Bread, the fact that he sleeps on the foot of my bed every night isn’t that crazy. And yes, he also follows me around basically everywhere I go – including into the bathroom – but, he’s just a cat. He’s harmless. Super annoying sometimes… but harmless.

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Let me clarify – it’s not that Bread doesn’t like Coach. They get along okay. Coach calls him “Loaf”.

The real problem is: Bread really dislikes me after Coach spends time at my apartment. Why? Because Coach prefers that we leave my bedroom door closed when we go to sleep… and Bread doesn’t like that. So he spends most of the night scratching at the door and for the next day or so simply glares at me from across whatever room I’m in. Devil cat stare. He has even resorted to biting me at times. Like as I’m just walking by! I think I mentioned he’s a jerk, right?

Maybe two months ago, I tried to get Coach to allow Bread to sleep with us. We tried it once and neither one of us slept well that night. I was so aware of Coach, and Coach was so aware of Bread. Since then, I’ve simply left the door shut and suffered through the side eye and random attacks on my feet and legs.

In my opinion, the issue is that they are too similar. Let me explain:

  • They both take up an unnecessarily large part of my bed when I’m trying to sleep.
  • They both communicate with me when they want something (Coach is not a big communicator and Bread only cries when he wants food or to be let out of my room in the middle of the night).
  • They both shed more than they should.
  • They are both male.
  • They both want my attention and affection… like ALL THE TIME.

And therein lies the problem. Unfortunately I don’t think you can teach a cat that sharing is caring. But apparently you can teach them to jump through a hoop you make with your arms… so maybe I’m wrong.

Obviously Coach is going to have to be the one to compromise here. But I also want to respect that he’s not 100% comfortable around animals – especially while sleeping.

So what exactly does one do when their pet and their significant other don’t get along?

I’m no expert – obviously. But here’s what I’m going to try:

  1. Sticking to a schedule when it comes to overnight visits. One time, Coach and I discussed that Sundays and Wednesdays work best for us to get together. Of course, as we spend more and more time together, Mondays and Fridays often get thrown in the mix. Plus some Thursdays, and Saturdays. Yeah basically there is no schedule and we spend a lot of time together. We never hang out on Tuesdays though. Weird. IF I can set a more regular schedule, at least then Bread will come to expect those days (don’t tell me cats can’t tell what day it is).
  2. Sneaking in moments when I’m with Coach and Bread at the same time so they get used to being together. This actually worked the other day. We were just relaxing/attempting to nap (I had eaten too much fried chicken and felt sick), and we all were on my bed. At the same time. And no one complained! I did have to explain to Coach that if Bread sees that you have hands, he will insist that you pet him with them. Rule of thumb: if you don’t want to pet Bread, you must pretend you don’t have hands. He will then ignore you.
  3. Not letting Bread sleep with me every night. I figure if he doesn’t always associate being locked out with Coach, eventually he’ll get used to sometimes having to sleep with my sister (yes, that’s an option like 80% of the time, but I’m the favorite). Maybe one day he will even stop scratching at my door when it’s shut.

If anyone has any suggestions, please let me know! I guess for now, it’s currently a competition – war of sorts – between basically the only two male animals I spend any time with.

And here’s more cat pictures because I know that’s what you’re here for, Sarah.

Body

Now if we’re talking body…You got a perfect one.

(I realize that most of my post titles are song titles or lyrics… and I’m not sorry).

So I’m all for body positivity. In my opinion, an important part of figuring out your stuff, knowing who you are, and accepting who you are IS accepting how you look and being comfortable in your own body.

Pretty early on, I wrote about not ever being a small person, not even as a kid. And more recently being more comfortable in my skin and accepting my body for all it has to offer. Spoiler: our bodies aren’t just for putting cute clothes on. I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again – get naked. So why am I talking about body acceptance AGAIN? Because! It’s not something that comes easy and it’s not something you all of a sudden have and never lose. Our bodies change every day. And that means that every day we we have to work at being body positive.

Example: On Monday, I felt bloated (thanks to all the margaritas and burritos I had this weekend), and I was NOT happy with how I felt and how my body felt. I’m sure there wasn’t much of a difference physically, but I had a really hard time because I felt bloated and gross. On Tuesday, I felt okay. And when I looked in the mirror I wasn’t seeing the baby-sized burrito I ate on Sunday.

Normally, I really love my body. Sure, I’m in the middle of a weight loss journey so of course there are things I want to improve… like toning my arms and legs. But big picture: for the most part I felt good. And I thought I looked good. I was #bodypositive. That said, I don’t think I realized how NOT #bodypositive I’d been in the past or how much progress I’ve made until the weekend I went to my 5th year college reunion a few weeks ago.

When I left school in 2013 I weighed in at about 250lbs. For reference, it wasn’t my highest ever weight, but that’s just over 30lbs higher than my current weight. Like your typical college kid, I was not very active and spent my days and nights eating and drinking whatever my peers were. So at the reunion I went to a boozy brunch, and when I saw people I hadn’t seen in a while, they told me, “you look so good!”. #thanks #hairflip

While I know I’ve been doing well on this journey, I also thought part of the change my peers were recognizing could be credited to my face maturing and the fact that I definitely dress better (TBH 2009 to 2013 was not a great time for fashion). Whatever the reason, the complements made me feel good! And then… we started taking pictures.

First, I’d like to say that the brunch we’d been at had run out of food before we even arrived… so naturally I filled up on gin and tonics. Second. And most importantly… I’m not big on having my picture taken. This is exactly what I’m referring to when I say I don’t think I was as body positive as I thought.

Pictures are hard – especially when there is part of you that doesn’t like the way you look. While everyone else see you for you, we are overcritical of ourselves. And after a lifetime of focusing on our flaws, pictures are like mirrors. We avoid them. I avoided them.

Not only have I always been overweight, but I’ve also always been very tall. For a female. I’m 5′ 10″ without shoes on. My mom likes to tell me the story of when my teacher had to put blocks under my desk in second grade because I was too tall for it. Apparently I came home crying. I wouldn’t know… I assume I blacked out from embarrassment. Anyways, being big and tall meant that I took up more space in a picture and looked like a giant next to people I considered normal sized. As an adult it became less of an issue, but I was still aware of it.

Maybe it was the gin and tonics, but somehow I forgot my fears for a bit and participated in the photoshoot (yes I mean photoshoot… That’s how this group does things). It wasn’t until days after the photoshoot – when the pictures were posted on IG – that I even thought about them. And let me just say… Despite the fact that I looked like I’d had a bit of gin (which I had), I looked good.

Like realllllll good.

I almost didn’t recognize myself! Well, not my face. Obviously I know what my face looks like. But my body! I was like “who’s that girl?!” What’s more is that I didn’t even notice my flaws. And as I’m writing this and looking at the pictures, all I can think is “what flaws?!”

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The problem with a flaw is that it is seen as something that needs to be fixed. It’s hard, but when you don’t see flaws as needing to be fixed, that’s when you’re really being 100% body positive. Let’s strive to see our flaws as simply parts of us, a thing that makes us who we are. Instead of focusing on fixing, let’s appreciate our uniqueness. Of course, that’s a long shot for most of us. Just remember: Flaws are friends (not food). Also, no matter what size or shape you are, you’re hot af. Don’t forget that either.

Body, Booze, Boys, Jenn

Welcome Back, Jenn…

Why hello there. I’m feeling some serious Mr. Rogers vibes right now. Probably because I’m tired. In case you forgot who I am and what I look like, I’ve taken a wonderful picture of me doing a typical 80’s glamour shot pose in my Moody Beach sweatshirt. #yourewelcome

It’s been a really, really long time since I’ve written anything on here. It’s actually May now (unfortunately we have to wait another 11 months to use that wonderful JT meme). I’ve been trying to be somewhat active on Instagram to make up for it, but even my sister recently told me she noticed I hadn’t been blogging. I hope no one was worried – I’m doing well. Just busy still adjusting at work and taking time to be instead of write. I’ll be better, I promise!

Let’s see. Since I last checked in…

Things have kept moving on the health/wellness/exercise front. I’ve seen 218lbs and hit the 50lb mark now like three times. Going away for my 5th year college reunion and having my cousin down to visit on adjacent weekends did NOT help the cause. But this burrito place in Harvard Square (Felipes) is a tempting thing. And I’m not just talking about the burritos. Now that the sun has come out for real and it’s not 40 degrees, I’m seriously struggling with my desire to drink fun summer drinks on patios and roof decks. Did someone say margaritas? But I must persist! Summer is coming and I’m feeling like it’s going to be a good one.

I just cleaned out my closet and dresser and have two bags of clothes marked for donation. While some of the clothes were just items I haven’t worn since before I moved (or longer), a lot of the things that I’m donating are too big.. or they fit but look frumpy because they sag in all the wrong places. I’m putting that into the successes pile. And I know, I know! Don’t get rid of stuff yet… You’re thinking that I might need a loose pair of jeans in a few months. After a summer of rum cocktails and hot dogs. But I’m not so convinced. I don’t know if you read… but I’m hovering around the 50lb mark. And most of these clothes are pieces that I wore before I started losing weight. I’m also determined to continue on to my goal weight/feeling, and keep it off! If I doubt myself, I have no chance of success.

What else? I have definitely had a number of wonderful drinks. I’ll get on IG tomorrow and post a bunch of pics. If you haven’t been to The Rising Bar in Inman Square, YOU MUST! And get the Coconut Margarita. It’s amazinggggg.

Oh and for those of you worrying about my love life… Coach and I are still together. I mean, we’re dating… since that’s how we defined it. I’m still allowed to see other people (though I haven’t dated or made out with anyone but Coach since St. Patrick’s Day). He actually went with me to a wedding of one of my work colleagues. It was fun. Awkward. But… fun. Fun might not be the right word now that I’m thinking about it. When I had asked him earlier that week if he was still down to go, he said something stupid like “I don’t think I ever agreed to that”. Of course, once I told him I could find someone else to accompany me, he got his act together and looked so handsome. My boss and coworkers are now prying into my situationship more than I’d like.

Also on the Coach front… we are definitely moving in the direction of relationship. We went to the movies to see Black Panther a few weeks ago and let me just say: we were being so cute. It was gross. If I was out and saw a couple playing and kissing on the escalator or literally any other unnecessary PDA, I would have seriously judged them and been like “ew. stop.” Last week when I saw him a few days after I got back from my 5 year, he was driving me to work in the morning and he said, “Man, I’m glad you’re back”. He’s so freaking cute, I can’t.

Anyways, I promise to write more. See y’all soon.