This weekend was a weird one. A good one, but weird. I spent a lot of time walking, and therefore thinking. And what else does a girl in a Situationship think about but what’s going on, how she feels about it, if she sees it going anywhere, where it’s going. The list could go on and on. But for both our sakes, I’ll stop there.
So Saturday was spent thinking and then using my friend as a sounding board. I came to a number of conclusions… most of them weren’t right. More than anything, I was looking for an answer to where the situationship was going. And the only person I could ask was Coach.
Sunday night comes around, and I didn’t exactly ask him (I had decided I was content with how things were and there was really no point in starting the conversation before I had decided where I wanted it to go)… but I definitely found out. The dreaded DTR take two!
Long story short: Something completely ruined the mood of the evening and we ended up just sitting in an awkward silence for a few minutes. Avoiding most eye contact. But since were adults in a mature adult relationship, we decided we needed to talk about it. We did. I cried. He comforted me. He shared everything about his past relationships. I listened. He told me he’d be better at communicating.
Then he told me he still didn’t want to rush things and that he’s glad we’re “dating”.
That’s kind of where I had to start talking and asking questions. I had been listening intently for so long and only interrupted like three times (If you know me, you know how hard that is for me!!).
What is “dating”…? He said we’re “not exclusive”. I knew that. But I also know that neither one of us is seeing or sleeping with anyone else. And I know my antics on St. Patrick’s Day were not the behavior of someone in an exclusive relationship. Buttttttt what were the expectations of me? Did I need to tell him I’d made out with three different people and that’s why I got so sick the week after? Did I need to tell him anything? Would I want him to tell me anything? No. And when he asked if I wanted to know if he went out (etc.) with anyone else, I told him that.
For a bit we talked about a few hypotheticals and he said maybe there’s a line… like not sleeping with other people before letting the other person know. Thank God the lighting in my room was shadowy because I guarantee that I made a face at that. Not that I’m trying to sleep with other people… but if we aren’t allowed to sleep with other people… then we are exclusive. THAT IS LITERALLY THE DEFINITION.
I asked him if he would call me before having sex with the hypothetical girl we’d been talking to and told him I would not be calling him if roles were reversed. Can you imagine?! Mid-makeout session…”Hold on, I just gotta call the guy I’m kind of seeing and just check in with him to let him know I’m going to sleep with you…”
In the end he agreed and we have now officially defined the relationship. We are dating. Non-exclusively. And the only time we will ever tell each other about a third party person is if we are ending things. Otherwise, we’re just going to keep seeing each other and seeing where things go.
Surprisingly I feel really good about the conversation and where we landed. I’m now clear on where we stand and where things are going.
So cheers to a successful DTR take two. Even if technically nothing has changed… (aside from my slight guilt for wanting to makeout with that third guy from St. Patrick’s Day again).