It’s not the weather, and it’s not because I’m still recovering from a weekend food/drink hangover… though I’m sure those things are playing a slight factor. But, I’ve found that most of the time I swipe and date in waves, and right now there is no swell.
There are some days, weeks, months even, when I’m interested in being on the apps and talking to new people and going out for a drink or two and making meaningless small talk. Talking to three or four guys at the same time is totally normal – yes exhausting at times. It’s like fishing. With a net. And throwing back the ones that just don’t make the cut. A lot of the times some of the fish just find their way back to the water on their own. #ghostfish
And there are other times when I would rather watch water boil to the sound of my sophomore year calculus professor giving a lecture (he had the most monotone voice and I fell asleep 87% of the time – it didn’t help that the class was at 8:30 am). Like everything a guy says to me makes me want to gag and tell them to stop talking. Anyways, right now is one of those times.
I’m not sure what it is, but the dating app I use most (yes, Tinder) is like sooo uninteresting. How many times can I get a message that just says “hey”? And, sorry Jamal, I don’t care if you love my curls…I’m not interested. And when I do go on, I feel like I’m constantly swiping left.
Over the last two weeks or so I’ve exchanged a few messages with a guy who is a law student at Harvard. He seems nice. Definitely smart. He asked if I would get a drink with him and sent me his number… two days later I finally sent him a text. I told him the days he suggested don’t work for me but that I would look at my schedule for next week. I have yet to do so. He seems like he has his shit together, so what’s wrong with me that I feel almost zero motivation to actually meet him? Obviously the answer is nothing… I’m perfect. BUT what’s the deal. I can’t quite put my finger on it.
In kind of related news…
The guy who once said it was too cold to go out who I had an awkward but lovely car kiss with last Friday – I’m going to call him Coach (he’s a coach) – and I hung out again Monday night. While it wasn’t technically twice in one weekend, twice in four days is something I don’t do. Like. Ever. It always feels like too much and too soon… but I did it. We definitely have a connection and I want to see him again.
Maybe that has something to do with it. Maybe… But I should still go out with the law student, right? Keep my options open? See what’s out there? What’s the right time to decide not to talk to or date other people? I can’t believe I’m actually thinking about this! We’ve only been out four times.
Maybe my boredom with the apps and the guys on it has nothing to do with that and I’m just being mopey because I’m full of chocolate covered pretzels!!!! I’m going to go with that.