Booze

Why Wine Pairs Perfectly with Whining

As someone who enjoys a variety of alcoholic beverages, I can confidently say that every alcohol type has a pairs perfectly with a different emotion.

Tequila is perfect for when you’re stressed. Gin is a happy drink. Vodka treats frustration. Whiskey, bourbon and scotch are great for feeling content. Beer is ideal for when you’re already relaxed. And wine pairs perfectly with whining.

Don’t believe me? Think about it!

Imagine you’re watching Family Feud. The top three answers are on the board and 100 people were asked “which of Snow White’s 7 Dwarfs do you typically identify with when you have a glass of red wine in your hand?” Undoubtedly the answers would be Grumpy, Dopey, and Sleepy. Steve Harvey is basically all knowing and never makes mistakes so that is solid proof.

If you still aren’t convinced, here are my reasons:

1. Wine is a great way to get someone to come over to listen to you complain. No one you want to rant to would ever turn down a free half bottle (or more) of wine.

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2. Wine and frowning go hand in hand since chances are if it’s red it has turned your teeth purple.

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3. Wine glasses make great prop microphones for a dramatic one woman show on what happened at work and how incompetent your boss and coworkers are.

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4. Wine is just strong enough to do the trick and calm you down, but not strong enough to knock you off your soapbox and onto the floor.

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5. Wine goes great with the large quantities of cheese and bread you are likely consuming as an initial treatment for your grumpiness.

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Lastly, and probably most importantly:

6. Wine has legs, which means it probably has ears and basically a person that can listen to your problems… so technically you aren’t drinking alone.

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